Beliefs

What creates successful life changes? How does therapy work?

• A climate of mutual safety and respect is paramount.
• We have within us the seeds of the solutions we need. In therapy we discover these, learn to trust them, and then have the courage to make them real in life, each in our own way.
• Positive change can occur more easily than you might expect. We may believe we are more stuck than we are.
• Understanding and practice are both essential. Insight needs to be applied. Action needs awareness. We learn to live what we know, and to know what we are living.
• We have more inner resources than we know. Our own truth is one of these resources. My job is to remind you of this.
• Mind and body are intimately connected. Change in one can lead to change in the other.
• Small changes add up. We need to persist with these.
• Sensible risks are essential. Learning to act from confidence and love, rather than fear, makes this possible. It takes courage, which you have.
• Different people and problems require different therapeutic approaches.
• There is more to us than we know. Maybe more than we can know.
• Some problems respond well to a head-on approach. Others need us to respect their mystery and depth. Learning to know the difference saves both of us much frustration.
• You do some of this in sessions and some in your life.
• All of the above works when we are being mindful. Mindfulness means non-judgmental, interested awareness of our present experience. (More information here).
• In therapy, we learn to pay close attention to how we feel, think, and respond. We learn to notice the kind of conversation we are having with with ourselves, other people, and the world. Doing this helps us to see where our resources and strengths are, and where we are living out old stories about ourselves that are no longer necessary or true.
• My goal: To understand and accept your truth and choices (though not excuses), help you to discover what your life wants for you, and encourage you to know and help you to act from what is most authentic for you. I have no agenda for how you should live your life. That is your choice and responsibility, and I’ll do what I can to help you reach it. I wish my clients to live with awareness of themselves, with their needs, feelings, choices, and history; to be whole; to have the skills to make their lives a success. I hope people will choose to become completely themselves and do that terrifically. The rest flows from there.
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• If therapy has risks, it is that we usually have to talk about and experience uncomfortable feelings and memories strongly at times. This is liberating, but challenging. We may be called to experiment with fresh behaviours, have new experiences, and to try out different conversations with others.  This can affect relationships, usually for the better, but that’s not guaranteed. During treatment, you may feel worse before you start to feel better. You could find your relationship with me to be a source of strong feelings, some of them painful at times. And I simply may not be able to help you, or, in rare cases, make you feel worse than when we started. However, you ultimately get to decide what we discuss and work with.
• It will take time, patience, and persistence. You won’t make changes without making an effort to work on the things we discuss. And in therapy, as in life, there are no guarantees. You can and should talk about how therapy is going with me.
• It is important that you consider carefully whether these risks are worth the benefits to you of changing. Most people who take these risks find that therapy is helpful. Therapy often leads to a significant reduction in feelings of distress, increased satisfaction in interpersonal relationships, greater personal awareness and insight, and increased skills for managing stress and resolutions to specific problems. That’s my intention.